Not really. It's just a blog. But I guess one person's "just a blog" is another person's "Big Bang", at least potentially. Maybe we should ask the bangee. Ermmm...nevermind. It's my universe.
This is a mission statement of sorts. The challenge (as is often the case in my case) is to find that point on the graph where accuracy and simplicity meet. There’s a lot going on here and I’m likely to write about any of it on any given day. I’m an adventurer- spiritually, mentally, emotionally and physically (not so much of the bungee-jumping, sky-diving variety as the traveling, sexual exploration, playing with the pain/pleasure/insight boundaries). There’s an ebb and flow to everything, a natural rhythm and for the past few years I’ve been in an intense FLOW period with teensy, tinsy, much needed ebbs here and there. Lots and lots of edges are getting pushed in the tiny universe that is mine-for-now. So expect anything!
Though this is not a place for humans who are still legally children, kids of all ages over 18 are most welcome! I promise it’ll be personal, even graphic at times. There will be generous portions of foul language and tons of irreverence. I’m going to go deep. That’s what I do. You might be uncomfortable at times if you‘re hanging out with me. I am. Why not you? As a teacher told me many years ago: discomfort lets you know you’re in new territory. If growth is the aim, then we would do well to get more comfortable with discomfort. I tell you what- it’s never, ever boring, this growth thing Occasionally peaceful, relaxing and easeful, but boring- never.
Of course, we each have our limits with discomfort, how much, what kind, different tolerance on different days. Maybe this isn’t the place for you. There are other places to visit, other words to read, a myriad of voices all talking about the same thing in different ways. Find the song that touches your heart. If you decide to hang with me, my hope is that you will find something of yourself, for yourself- that bits of my experience will reflect some part of your own journey or process, of your own search, that we can help each other along the way. I invite you to share your reactions, relate similarities, disagree, suggest. I ask that you do so respectfully. So often it’s not what we say, but how we say it that determines how it’s received. Please keep that in mind and I will too.
Ultimately, what I’m talking about here is LOVE. Not the Harlequin Romance variety (though even that is not excluded *grin*), but the big god-flavored love that is both tender and merciless; love of the deep and wide kind that both holds and pushes, that wounds and feeds, sometimes simultaneously. Terrible, beautiful love that asks from us everything we have, everything we think we are in order that we might be more than we ever knew.
Everything is sacred, everything is god, everything is love: rainbows, music, dishes, mosquitoes, temples, dirty diapers, death, sex, pancakes and earthquakes. Everything.
There will be generous portions of irreverence for all.
So, everything we do is in some sense a step in our dance with this great reality. We move toward or away, we embrace or deny in some measure. As with all intimacies, often the process of embracing is more a process of dismantling what stands in the way- usually some form or fear or behaviors stemming from same. My intention is that my living be as conscious a dance as possible. So much of the first half of my life was a bumbling, knee-jerk, survival dance. I was resourceful and it got me here- I honor that time deeply, but now I know better. I began to wake up to myself and something larger that I’m a part of about 25 years ago and here I am, still bumbling along, but eyes wide open. I want to be as awake as I can be, be aware of my choices in how I’m relating to everything in each moment. Whatever I’m doing and whatever I’m writing about it at the moment, at it’s core it’s all about this- this rich, fascinating dance we’re in with life, love, each other, the gods, the force that informs the whole gorgeous mess- including our beautiful, bumbling selves.
This then, is another avenue for yet another discussion with god: in me, in you, in everything. Knowing there is really only one of us here, yet knowing too that while we’re in bodies we have a unique (and oh-so-brief!) opportunity to know our-self better through this illusion of separation and sharing what we see. Thanks for sharing this space with me. I'm excited to see what happens next…..
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